I can't see you.
It's not like I don't try it's just that I'll do something stupid.
I know me.
It will happen.
It's better if we don't.

Since I have all this time.

Life is such a difficult thing, you never know for sure what you're meant to be doing, or where you are really headed..

So I'm going to sit here and ponder my life. I've realised all I want in life is to be happy and vain as it is I want to be rich. I want to retire young (somewhat) and be able to travel the world.

We all know this won't happen but I will try my best.

My life isn't simple.. In fact it's complicated like Trigonometric Function's, especially when you have no idea what you're doing. Right now I have no idea what I'm doing at all. I'm confused, like I just woke up and have lost my memory. I wish things were simple.

I'm currently doing a University course at Curtin, I don't know if I like it, nor do I know if I'll pass. Uni life is hard, I'm struggling. I want to go home. I want to go back to all the things I know. I want simple. I want all these things I don't have. I want the people I love surrounding me. I want my family. I want my friends. I want a short drive to everywhere. All these things I want.. But I can't have.

Things were easy, high school was fun. I miss seeing all my beautiful friends everyday. I miss my parents. I miss my younger siblings.. As much as I'll regret saying it. I hate knowing I'm missing out on them growing up. My brother's voice sounds like it's broken. My sister has even more attitude. Hah. Didn't know she could get more but hey..

Life will never be the same, not like it was last year. After uni I have to start a life of my own and then, I will still be working my ass off for a living and my sibling's won't be my cute baby brother and sister any more.. Everything is different. Everything changed. But I want it back.

This is my Inside Out Upside Down Diagonally Spun world.

Ah.

I fell in love with you with out even knowing.
I should have known.
I can feel it.
First hug, first touch, first kiss.
I knew it then and there, but some how I denied it.

You are an amazing person.
Everything about you I adore.
But you are my friend, my best friend.
I know this feeling isn't normal.
The way we are when we are together.
It's electric.
But we're friends. I can't ruin that.
I've done it before and I won't lose you,

I shouldn't talk to you.
But I can't help myself.
I think I like you more than I should.
I love you more than I should.
I miss you more than I should..

But I can't help that and I love what we have.
Let's hope my head stays at bay and everything doesn't change.